My school (Taunton High School, Taunton, MA) actually had a situation two years ago during state MCAS testing that required an evacuation. In that spirit, I sent out the following instructions to a few folks. Bureaucracy uber alles! --Jim Scanlan
FIRE DRILL INSTRUCTIONS DURING TESTING
If there are actual flames due to a "Conflagration Circumstance," (hereinafter, "CC"), please follow the directions listed below:
1) Make sure that test booklets burn first during CC, BEFORE answer booklets. Failure to ensure may compromise the integrity of the test. Ideally, booklets will be consumed from bottom to top.
2) Make sure that all materials to be incinerated during CC have been alphabetized, to maintain test integrity. If Administrator dies during CC, alphabetization responsibility will fall to building Principal and/or His/Her appointed representative. The Representative will, ideally, know the alphabet. If not, please submit Waiver Form 65.3, sub-sections 3/789, sub-heading, "Illiterates, Responsibilities Thereof."
3) Students should be consumed by CC in alphabetical order.
4) While dying during CC, neither students nor Test Administrator should talk, weep, moan, or otherwise communicate with non-testers. Doing so may invalidate their dying.
5) Following CC, Guidance will collect pencil shards/(alphabetized) bone fragments, and escort and survivors to the appropriate hospital. Upon arrival, Guidance will cover all signage to prevent unlawful surviving/cheating.